


You Are Alive in My Heart - a TRoS Fix-It

by kathyswizards



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben Solo Lives, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Happy Ending, Possession, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, balance the force, the world between worlds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22163611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathyswizards/pseuds/kathyswizards
Summary: Ben Solo is dead after pouring out his life force to restore Rey. Rey is left alone, abandoned once more to a fate she can't seem to escape. Light has conquered the evil that was Emperor Palpatine, but the Force remains unbalanced. Both their sacrifices have been for nothing.Ben is stranded in the World Between Worlds, bound there by his bond to Rey, a bond the Force never meant to be broken. If the galaxy is to avoid yet another battle between the dark side and the light, Ben has to go back. He has to find a way to make sure both the dark side and the light join together to destroy the monster that for three generations has been preying on the galaxy—and on his family.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 20
Kudos: 71
Collections: TROS Reylo Fix-it Fics, The Rise of Skywalker: Fix-It Fic Edition





	You Are Alive in My Heart - a TRoS Fix-It

**Author's Note:**

> Like many (most?) of us, I was bitterly disappointed by TRoS. Ben's death was bad enough, but to leave him forgotten and unmourned and Rey all alone again was positively painful. But the problems didn't begin there. Ben never got a chance to be part of his own story. He never had the chance to fight and defeat the creature that had tormented his family for three generations, who had tormented _him_ his whole life. He was literally thrown aside, reduced to a plot device and an expendable accessory to the "hero." This was a shameful way to treat a character as sympathetic, complex and nuanced as Kylo/Ben's. #BenSoloDeservesBetter 
> 
> This is an AU on several levels, not only changing the ending of TRoS, but also changing Ben and Rey's pasts. In this version of their history, they've known each other since they were young.
> 
> You'll see a mashup of all three Sequel Trilogy movies. There's a little of TFA when they meet, the Force bond and some dialog from TLJ, and a re-imagined fight with Palpatine. And yes, the happily-ever-after Ben and Rey deserve, with the Force in balance and the dark side and the light in harmony.
> 
> Full disclosure: I only watched the movie once, so any errors are due to my blocking out that painful experience.

_…How can the past be dead and gone_   
_When there in the dark_   
_You are alive within_   
_You have survived within_   
_You are alive within my heart._

[Johnny Hates Jazz – _Ghost of Love_](https://youtu.be/cok-d2MUJM4)

There was nothing in the universe but Rey’s smile, the shining joy in her eyes. The taste of her lips, salty with tears, the way his lips still tingled after her kiss. He felt the burning light of her through their bond. Her scent, even sullied with blood and sweat, the sharp tang of ozone, the bitterness of burning, still carried a hint of storm-tossed sea.

Suddenly, it was all fading, dissolving into mist. His muscles fell slack; his hand fell from her neck, his arm from around her. Against his will, his eyes fell closed just as the joy on Rey’s face began to shift to alarm. Gravity pulled him irresistibly down, down into darkness. A single spurt of horror reached him through their bond…

Then nothing.

* * *

Ben blinked. His eyelids made a tiny clicking sound in the absolute silence. Darkness pressed against his eyes, so complete he might’ve been blind. He lay still, exploring outward with his senses. There was nothing but the awareness of his body. His chest rose and fell. His heart beat. The pain of his broken leg and ribs…

He blinked again. There _was_ no pain. He opened himself to the bond—

Rey was gone.

_No. No! No-no-no-no—_

He wrenched himself up, reached for the Force.

Existence burst into being around him again. Spokes and rays and loops and corkscrews of silver against inky, empty, endless black. Like no existence he’d ever seen either through his eyes or in his mind.

Cautiously, he pushed to his feet. There seemed to be no up or down, no here or there, but he was somehow able to stand. As he did, everything changed.

He stood in a cave. Water lapped and sloshed hollowly behind him. The cold, damp air smelled of saltwater and seaweed. He stood in front of a frosted, irregular mirror.

A prickle ran up his spine. He knew this place. Rey had told him of it, her hair hanging wet on her shoulders, the flicker of flames on her face. He’d seen it through her eyes, through their bond.

The cave of the dark side on Ahch-To.

He’d gone to the island once during their separation. The cave’s mouth had been a blowhole when he arrived, seawater erupting from it like a geyser; he’d waited patiently until the tide receded and he could enter.

He’d found nothing. Only cold, and damp, and a strangely smooth wall of rock. And a powerful sense of _not yet_.

Now, he raised his hand, reached up and touched his fingertips to the mirror’s cold, slightly rough surface.

Like touching frosty glass, the chill opacity fled away. The mirror turned to a window. The window showed him Rey.

She was hunched over, his burned and tattered shirt clutched to her chest as she rocked.

His breath stopped in his chest. “Rey—”

Now she was running to her ship. Now in a jungle with her Resistance friends, now on some desert planet—was that Tatooine? _Really?_ Why _there_ of all places?—burying two lightsabers in the sand. _Alone_ except for that damned BB unit he’d been hunting when he found her.

His eyes ached with tears. “No, Rey. This isn’t what I wanted for you…”

What else should he have expected? No one in the galaxy was her equal. He _knew_ what it was like—how people feared you. The prickly way they tiptoed around you, smiling; the way everyone held their breaths, knowing what you could do with little more than a thought and an intention.

She was abandoning herself on another barren ball of sand and dirt and rock just as her own parents had abandoned her. Yet was she any more isolated there than she’d be surrounded by throngs of people who saw nothing but her power?

He’d wanted her by his side; for himself, yes, very much yes. But also because he wanted the whole galaxy to acknowledge who and what she was: her fearless spirit, her keen mind, her compassionate soul that could see through a monster’s mask to the lonely, tormented man beneath.

He'd promised her she wasn’t alone. Now she was. She always would be.

He slumped back, his hand falling to his side again. The mirror fogged over once more.

Straightening, he roared. If he’d had his lightsaber, he’d’ve slashed the mirror to molten slag. All he could do was throw himself against it, pound on it until his fists were bleeding balls of abraded agony.

Suddenly, he found himself on the other side. The mirror reflected a line of Bens behind him, marching back to infinity.

The one nearest was already half-turned as the rest followed, each turning, turning, turning, one after the other. Ben’s eyes locked on the charred hole in his counterpart’s shirt where the exit wound from his lightsaber had been. He reached back, touched the hole on his own shirt even as his counterpart mimicked him, then all the rest followed.

They each reached for a different hole. His own was over the ribs of his back. The next Ben’s was just below his shoulder blade, the one after that below his ribs. The Bens in the distance—did they even have the hole in their shirts?

The lightsaber had gone through each of them in a slightly different path. _A slightly different path_ …

“I knew you’d figure it out,” an achingly familiar voice said.

Her voice went through him like a lightning strike.

He turned. “Mom.” His voice shook.

It was her. He hadn’t seen her in… how many years? Since he was a boy. She looked now as she did then, her dark hair coiled in glossy braids and her dark eyes suffused with a soft, blue glow.

She stepped close. He didn’t remember her being so small. But he hadn’t been full grown the last time he’d seen her.

She reached up both hands to cup his face. Closing his eyes, he leaned into her.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

The words shouldn’t mean any more than Luke’s had on Crait. Coming from his mother, they were like a healing touch, like the ethereal feeling of her delicate hands on his cheeks. He could feel everything she was sorry for—for leaving him alone too much. For being afraid of what he might become. For sending him away. For giving up on him. For not coming back the moment he needed her the most.

Ben opened his eyes. “So am I, Mom,” he said. “I’m sorry I—I— I’m sorry I _—_ ” He couldn't bring himself to speak of what he'd done. To his _own father_. “I’m sorry for the pain I gave you,” he whispered.

She caressed his face. “It was never supposed to go this way. Any of it. Not before…” She let her hands fall. “And not now.”

“What do you mean?”

His mother got that _I-am-so-done-with-this-shit_ look he’d seen so often. “The universe isn’t fair. You weren’t supposed to die when and how you did. But we’re Skywalkers. We’re a little more involved in what happens than most.”

He just listened silently.

“The Force has been seeking balance for thousands of years. Anakin, your grandfather, was supposed to be the one to bring it.” She made a wry face. “You know how _that_ turned out. Then the Force brought you and Rey together. It created a bond between you.”

“She was supposed to be with me.”

“You know it, and I know it. But it took Rey a long time to understand. You scared her, Ben. That didn’t help.”

“ _I_ didn’t understand then, Mother.”

“Don’t ‘Mother’ me, Ben Solo. I know you didn’t. Or you understood the wrong way. You felt through the Force that you that you were supposed to be together. You didn’t care about anything else.”

“I _cared_.” He threw out his hands. “I’m _here_.” He looked around sullenly. “Wherever _here_ is.”

“Yes. You are. Because things _still_ aren’t right.”

He waited.

She sighed. “You were never supposed to be dark. Like Anakin, you were meant to be the balance. Even when I carried you, I could feel you. Light, yet threaded through with darkness.” Her lips went flat. “Palpatine had other ideas. He turned you.” She held up a hand to stop his protest. The signet rings of Alderaan gleamed on her fingers. “I know how much you struggled, Ben. But the fact is, he did. So the Force tried again. It created Rey, light to your darkness. Then bonded you.”

“I figured that out.”

“I don’t how Palpatine hoped to thwart the Force. Typical hubris of the powerful, I guess. Why he decided to target Rey and not you after everything he did—”

“That was a lie. Rey’s no blood of his.”

The only thing he was grateful for was that Palpatine’s lie would never escape into the galaxy. Rey would be hated and feared if it ever did.

His mother looked up at him with a glint of amusement. “You don’t have to defend her from me, Son. Of course it was a lie. He was a Sith. Sith lie. Do you think I’d’ve taught her a damned thing if I thought it was true? If I was afraid of what you’d become, I’d be _terrified_ of what she might.” She gave a dismissive wave. “What I’m trying to explain is why you’re here. Light defeated the darkness when you died. That means the Force is still unbalanced. Until both are together, in harmony—”

Something inside him leapt up. “I have to go back. That’s what all these are.” He gestured to the endless string of Bens, each just a little different than the last. They mirrored his gesture. “Every alternate path. Every possible past.”

She reached up and patted his cheek. “You always were a smart boy. Yes. The Force isn’t finished with you yet. You get a second chance.”

He sensed around him. The Force thrummed like the heartbeat of the entire galaxy. “This place— The whole island is a Force nexus.”

“Exactly.”

He looked down the ranks of his counterparts. “How? How will I know which path to choose? Which one will fix things?”

Another wry smile. “Don’t tell me you want the Force to tell you what to do. You had enough arguments with Luke about the will of the Force.”

Ben clenched his fists. “No.”

“Then I’ll leave you to it.” The blue glow around her increased, beginning to blur her edges. “I wouldn’t stay too close to the timeline you just left, if I were you.”

His mother dissolved into a blue mist, then disappeared.

He huffed out a breath. One after the other, his counterparts did the same.

He stared at the back of the next Ben in line. How was this supposed to work? If he stepped forward, so would they. He gave a little shrug, half annoyance, half resignation, and took a step—

Into the next Ben’s reality. He was flying through the dark air, kicking and clawing at nothing. The horrible feeling of falling swooped in his middle then a fiery spear of pain in his ribs. Another in his leg as it broke with a sickening snap. Blinding, impossible pain at the back of his head—

Then nothing.

Ben stepped quickly forward again, away from his death in the chasm where Palpatine had thrown him.

The whistling pop of a blaster came the same instant a burning impact struck him in the back.

Another step forward, away from his death by a blaster shot in the back as he ran to reach Rey. The next Ben still wore his padded tunic, soaked and clinging.

There was the sear of his lightsaber punching through his chest and out the other side. The stray thought, _It’s only what I deserve,_ as he stared into Rey’s savage, hate-filled face.

He stepped away from it again. Another step. Another, more and more quickly, through timelines filled with rage and death and empty, pointless strife.

His counterparts’ tunics were whole now, no longer drenched with saltwater. Now there were scorch marks, ash on the shoulders and arms. His hair dripped sweat. These were the moments after he killed Snoke. When he asked— _pleaded_ with Rey to join him. He hurried by each of those possible pasts. The anguish in her face was the same in every one. He couldn’t bear to stop and feel his hope fade and slowly turn to dread as he held out his hand, the seconds ticking past—

He kept going, searching for a glimpse of Rey as he passed through each reality. Rey was the key. She was the only thing to bring meaning to his long night of pain and hate and rage.

Now he was wearing his robes, frayed and tattered at the edges to remind him of his years with Snoke, every tear reflecting one in his soul. He wore his mask. His lightsaber was in one hand, the other raised and outstretched. No. Not that. He didn’t want to see her frightened eyes again as she watched a _creature in a mask_ stalk her.

He kept going. How badly had he botched the Force’s attempts at balance? Every timeline was another moment in darkness, another of Snoke’s— _Palpatine’s_ —whispers. Despair squeezed his chest.

Takodana seemed to be some sort of focal point—of course it was. It was where he’d met Rey. He hated seeing her eyes wide with terror, again and again, as if in no reality could he ever make this moment right.

The next step forward, something changed. Her eyes were still wide—

But with recognition and surprise.

 _Rey knew him_. She’d seen his mask before and knew what— _who_ —was beneath it.

Ben stopped, letting himself fall into this moment of another possible past.

* * *

His lightsaber spat and crackled in his hand. He swayed a little, disoriented. Had he just been somewhere else? Somewhere dark that smelled of the sea. The Force shivered around him in a way he’d never felt before. For an instant, he had an impression of another life brushing his, a strange sense of déjà vu.

He blinked and it was gone. He was back in the woods on Takodana, holding Rey paralyzed with the Force

His mask restricted his vision to an oblong window, but he absorbed the sight of her, the way the green light of the woods moved over her. Her arm jerked and trembled as she strained to raise the blaster she held. Still fierce, still a little wild thing. No amount of time could take that out of her.

Everything in him sang at her presence _here_ , _now_ , right in front of him. He stalked closer.

“Rey. So _good_ to see you again.” His voice had that strained edge to it. His fist tightened on the hilt of his lightsaber, painful even through the leather of his glove.

She struggled uselessly against his hold “Let me go, Ben.”

“Still can’t use the Force, Rey?” he taunted. “You’re as strong as I am. _Make_ me let you go. You can do it.”

Hurt and confusion filled her eyes now. “Why are you doing this?”

“Why? _Why_? You _left_ me. How many times did I beg you to come back? _How many times?”_

“You know why. How many times did I tell _you?”_ Her eyes fell to his weapon. “What happened to your lightsaber?”

He sauntered around behind her. She couldn’t turn her head, but he could feel her tracking him with her senses. He felt her dismay and growing alarm. When he brought the snapping red blade within centimeters of her neck, her alarm spiked to fear.

“This _happened_ when you left. I would’ve died for you, Rey. I would’ve done anything, _anything_ to protect you. Even from myself. And when I woke up after this _happened_ , you were gone.”

“You know it wasn’t like that.” Her words came out fast, breathless. “I told you. I left to find Snoke and kill him. So you’d be free.”

He lowered the blade and bent close. “Then it’s a good thing I found you.” His vocabulator turned his whisper to a menacing hiss. “I’m to bring you to him.”

Raising his hand, he snatched away her consciousness. He caught her as she crumpled, lifted her in his arms and carried her back the way they’d come.

He relished the feel of her in his arms, so light and soft and vulnerable. Adjusting his hold so her head rested against his chest, he looked down at her, quiet and peaceful for once.

The stormtroopers fell in behind him as he crossed the smoking and body-strewn castle grounds to his shuttle. He carried her to his private compartment, carefully lowered her into the seat beside his and belted her in.

He pulled off his mask and gloves and just looked at her. Relaxed in the sleep he’d imposed, her face wasn’t so different from when he’d seen it last. His hand shook as he raised it to touch her cheek, so soft under his fingertips. Her scent beguiled him, bright and windswept. Closing his eyes, he drew it in.

Her light poured over him, soothing and healing. Now, while she was close, protecting his thoughts, he drank her in, stored her up for what would come. He had only this short time with her, together as they had been. As they should be. He couldn’t dare think of her this way again.

He left his helmet off when he woke her in a cold stone room on Exegol, an old Sith torture chamber. The screams of countless victims through the ages were ingrained in the walls, the very air, echoing through the Force.

Her head jerked up and she quickly took in the restraints that held her to the table. Her eyes went straight to his. The hurt and betrayal there pierced him.

“What are you doing, Ben?”

He took a step, then another. She drew him into her gravity like a black hole, a pull he couldn’t resist. Nothing of him would escape, not his darkness, not his light. Not his heart or soul.

“My master told me to bring you. I have.” Closer still, until he stood over her, only a hand’s breadth between them. “He wants you for your power, Rey,” he said softly. He let his gaze rove over her, taking in every tiny detail. The little scar, almost imperceptible, on her right cheek. The faint dusting of freckles across her nose and shoulders. All the shades of brown and green in her eyes. “Things will go better if he’s not disappointed.”

She stopped testing the restraints. “You don’t have to do this, Ben.”

“You made sure I do,” he said. “You wanted to find Snoke. I’m giving you what you wanted. I’ll _always_ give you what you want.”

“Then let me go,” she said promptly.

Bracing his gloved hands on either side of her, he leaned close. His heart clenched when she turned away, but he brought his face to her neck and inhaled deeply. He didn’t miss the way she shivered.

“Use the Force, Rey. I know you can,” he whispered. His breath stirred the fine hairs under her ear. “It’s the only way you’ll survive.”

It was the only way they’d both survive. If she didn’t—

All her stubborn efforts, all his desperate plans would be for nothing.

He reached for his rage and betrayal, armoring himself with them. From this moment on, he’d have to wear darkness like a cloak.

A lift of the hand released her restraints. She swung down, as lithe and athletic as ever. The set of her body said she was ready to bolt or strike, but she held herself still, waiting. He took her arm in a firm grip in case she tried to snatch it away. She didn’t, only let him steer her out of the room and into a dim, triangular corridor.

Before he’d come to Exegol, he didn’t realize how much the Empire’s design choices had been inspired by the Sith. Under the circumstances, it made sense.

She didn’t try to speak to him again, but he could feel her emotions churning through the bond: fear, confusion, hurt, anger. _I don’t care_ , he told himself. _I am darkness. I am cold. I don’t care_.

He let the thoughts spread through him, anchor in his bones. He rode the surging sea of hurt and rage and abandonment. _Everyone turned their backs on me. Everyone. Even her_.

“Do you remember the history I taught you?” he said. “The Clone Wars, the Galactic Civil War? Do you remember what I taught you about the Jedi and the Sith?”

“What?” She never did have patience with irrelevancies.

“History is more alive than we expected.”

The corridor rose and widened. Flickers of blue lightning illuminated the yawning arch at the end. The air was sharp with the smell of ozone. Lightning flashed, strobe-like, but the only sound was the murmur of voices like waves on a shore, or the wind through leaves.

Still holding Rey by the arm, he steered her through into a soaring coliseum lined with rank upon rank of Sith acolytes, black holes in the fabric of reality.

“Rey, meet Emperor Palpatine. The voice that has been my guide all my life.”

“No,” she whispered and stopped short.

Relentless, Ben urged her forward then went to one knee before his master.

The withered thing that was what remained of Palpatine glided forward in the apparatus that animated him. “Well done, my good and faithful apprentice.” Blue light flashed over his melted face. “Young Rey. Welcome. Come closer, child.”

Ben could feel Rey’s instincts at war: revulsion and defiance versus eagerness to get close enough to strike.

She took a step forward on her own. “Snoke, Palpatine… I don’t care who you are. You’re going to die.”

Palpatine cackled. “Oh, yes. Yes I am. But not quite yet.”

Rey launched herself. Even before she reached him, the Emperor raised a skeletal hand. Lighting speared from his fingertips, wreathing her. With an agonized shriek, she flew, landed hard on her back.

“Come, child. With your bare hands? Try again. Try _harder_.”

She writhed over, sucked in breath with a whoop and staggered to her feet. The next instant, she flung herself at Palpatine again. Again, he slapped her back with Force lightning. She lay still, wisps of smoke rising from her clothes.

Ben submerged himself in hate and rage.

Palpatine’s face contorted in a frown. “Surely you can do better than that. You’re a Jedi. Fight me!”

Rey pushed up more slowly this time. “I’m…no Jedi.” She got her feet under her, still bent over with hands on knees.

With a lift of the hand, the Emperor dragged her to him, close enough to touch. Snarling, she locked her hands around his throat.

“Oh, so fierce!” His yellow eyes narrowed. He lifted a shriveled hand to her face as if she wasn’t trying to choke the life—or unlife—out of him.

Ben ground his teeth.

“There’s darkness in you, like a knot in your soul,” the Emperor said. “Something you’ve hidden away. Something that blocks—” His eyes widened. “You can’t use the Force,” he breathed in disbelief. “You’ve locked it away. You won’t allow yourself to touch it.”

Rey gritted through bared teeth, “I don’t need the Force to kill you.” Abruptly, she released his throat and attacked the lines trickling life into his undead body.

He thrust her away, sent her sprawling on the stone floor. He began to cackle, his laughter growing louder as it went on. “Your Jedi can’t use the Force, young Solo!” The laughter stopped and he purred, “Why don’t we find out why.”

With another lift of the hand, he tossed Rey into the air like a toy. She hung there, twisting uselessly.

“Now,” the Emperor said. “Show me. Show me what you fear.”

He clenched his bony fist. Rey’s lips peeled back off her teeth, then she began to scream.

Ben filled his heart with hate. He imagined death and blood, made himself remember every terrible thing Palpatine had done to him—or made him do—while he was with him. _Hate. Hate. **Death**_.

It seemed an eternity before Palpatine finally released Rey, dropped her carelessly to the rough floor. For a long, agonizing minute, she lay there, limp. She drew up, curled in on herself and began to sob.

The Emperor laughed. “You killed your own parents! Seized their ship with the Force and drew them down to a fiery death. Perfect! What a glorious distillation of fear and rage.”

Ben’s breath stopped. Shock hit him like a kick to the gut. She _killed_ them? He ranged back through memory, to how little she’d been when they began appearing to each other—no more than four years old. She’d killed them before _that?_

Her horror and anguish beat at him through the bond. No wonder! No wonder she refused to touch the Force!

She lay curled on her side, her face twisted with torment, sobbing. Ben realized it was a word, sobbed over and over. _No. No_.

Palpatine leaned forward, chill lightning flashing across his ruined features. “Now, now, child. No need to cry. I’ll free you of your pain. Would you like that?”

She clutched her knees to her chest and rocked. Her shoulders shook with sobs.

“Come. Listen to me now,” he said soothingly. “All will be well. You need only do as I say, and all the pain will be gone.”

“No,” she sobbed. “No.”

“Yes, my girl. Just one simple thing and you’ll be free.” He chuckled like a rusty gate in a night wind. “You’ll make a far better vessel than that boy I spent thirty years harrying and hounding into darkness.”

Ben jerked up his head. _What’s this?_

“The dark side has always been your element,” Palpatine went on. “One more step will complete your journey. Are you ready?”

“Ready?” she echoed blankly

Ben had seen this before, all those times she’d retreated into some private nightmare where nothing would reach her. Now he knew what that nightmare was.

The moment Ben’s lightsaber was ripped from his belt, he knew what Palpatine intended. The weapon flew to Rey. Automatically, she raised a hand. It smacked into her waiting palm. With a snarl, Ben raised his own hand. The Force, more powerful than he ever imagined, gripped him, thrust him to his knees and held him there, paralyzed and helpless.

“Now,” Palpatine said in his creaking voice. His face contorted. “Kill him.”

Her eyes still glazed and blind, Rey raised his lightsaber. The ragged red blade spat and crackled in her hands.

“Rey, don’t,” Ben panted, struggling to free himself from Palpatine’s grip. If she did this, it would destroy her. “Please.”

Palpatine laughed. With a feral snarl, Rey brought the blade down—

She whirled, throwing herself into a spinning attack Ben had taught her years ago. Palpatine’s eyes went wide, then Rey was flung backward. His lightsaber flew from her hand, skidded across the floor.

The seconds compressed as Ben watched. The stone column behind her would break her back, crush her skull. Without a thought, he caught her with the Force, snatched her back. She twisted and landed on her feet, stumbling.

“ _You!”_ Palpatine roared. “You dare defy _me!”_

His hand snapped up. Purple lightning lanced out, struck Ben in the chest. He flew. White-hot pain blinded him. He was barely aware of a sensation of hurtling through the air, then falling.

Rey’s fear and fury burst through the bond. “ _Ben!_ ” she screamed.

The Force gripped him, held him. Sight returned to show Rey, both hands outstretched, fingers crooked as if to catch and hold something. To catch and hold _him_.

_She was using the Force!_

Amazement and hope surged through him, too strong to suppress. Rey must’ve felt it—shock filled her face and she snatched her hands back and stared at them. Ben dropped to the floor as she released him, fell to one knee, scrambled up again.

Behind Rey, the Emperor snarled and raised his hands.

Their bond was fully open and attuned. Her hand already reaching, she turned the same moment Ben’s eyes locked on Palpatine. Ben couldn’t say who called it—him, her—but his lightsaber flew through the air and into her waiting hand.

Palpatine sent gouts of Force lightning at her. Ben felt her connection through the bond; the red blade of his lightsaber spilled out with a dragon-like hiss. Sweeping it up, she caught the bolts on the blade, teeth bared as she pushed back against the deadly energy thrown at her.

Ben lunged forward to flank the monster animated by nothing but malice, unholy technology and the dark side of the Force.

The Emperor’s attention switched to him. “I’d have given you the galaxy, boy. Now you’ll give me _everything_.”

Lightning arced from clawed fingers, reached out to net him in agony. Ben’s back arched. He clenched his jaw on a scream. Rey’s own scream rang out, high and savage. Ben’s lightsaber swinging, she charged Palpatine.

From somewhere, power poured into Ben. From _Rey_. He felt it—her light, her feral ferocity. His hand jerked up. Sizzling bolts of energy spat from his fingertips. Palpatine howled as they struck him, as they crawled over his body, turned the black robes blue and purple with eldritch power.

“ _What…?”_ Palpatine’s filmed, yellow eyes widened. “You are a dyad in the Force!”

Ben and Rey moved as if in a dance, each perfectly in tune with the other, Rey with Ben’s crackling red lightsaber, Ben with dark side energy lancing from his fingers. They moved apart, one on each side of the Emperor, forcing him to choose a target while the other attacked from the opposite side.

Palpatine’s creaking laughter rang out again. Abruptly, the laughter stopped and his lips twisted in a sneer. “As you wish. Stand together…die together.”

He brought his hands together. A twisting bolt of bluish-white shot from between them. It hit the space between Ben and Rey and split, writhing toward them.

It was if white-hot fire slashed an artery somewhere deep inside him. Power, energy, the Force gushed out, dropped him to his knees. Horror choked him as he realized what Palpatine was doing: he was sucking the life from their bond.

 _No_.

Ben pushed himself up. Unable to see, unable to hear anything but the Emperor’s vile laughter, he staggered toward the sound. He heard the monster’s snarl the instant before another bolt hit, slapped him back to the floor.

He couldn’t sense Rey through the bond, could only hear her hurt whimpers. The bond itself was a scream of pain. The Force was, heaving and thrashing like a wounded animal.

“I can feel your hate, young Rey,” Palpatine purred. “I feel how powerful it makes you. Do you think it’s enough to kill me?” He chuckled. “Stand up, girl. Take up your _scavenged_ weapon. Strike me down. _Try_.”

Ben blinked and found himself on his back, staring up into the vast, dim vault. The Sith around them chanted. Their words slithered into his ears like some poisonous fluid. Lightning flashed, the blue strobes dazzling and disorienting. There was a streak of red—his own lightsaber in Rey’s hand.

Through the wounded bond, he felt darkness, the churn of her rage and hate. Fear pricked him as he sat up. He couldn’t understand what it was, then memory unfolded. Luke’s voice, low as he confessed a private horror, the Emperor’s taunts as Luke faced him on the second Death Star: _Give in to your hate. Strike me down_.

 _Why?_ Every instinct Ben had screamed with wrongness. Ignoring the pain and weakness dragging at him, he struggled to stand.

Rey leapt at the Emperor, her face like a predator’s. She swung Ben’s lightsaber in a vicious, upward arc that slashed Palpatine from groin to head. The chants grew louder, filling the air like a dark fog.

Still laughing, the withered form collapsed into grey dust. Grey dust ran like sand to the floor.

Rey staggered, dropped his lightsaber. The blade retracted with a hiss. She kept stumbling backward, holding her hands out in front of her and staring at them as if they belonged to someone else. One after another, emotions twisted her face like a madwoman’s—confusion, triumph, horror, exhilaration.

She began to laugh, a dark sound nothing like the laugh he knew.

Cautiously, Ben pushed to his feet. “Rey?”

Turning to face him, she raised her eyes.

They were _yellow_.

Everything in him shuddered to a stop.

 _Strike me down_ , the Emperor had dared them—first Luke, now Rey. With dawning horror, Ben realized why.

Rey’s lips stretched in a grin. “It could’ve all been yours, my boy.” Her voice had an alien, fruity tone. No longer the unique lilt of Jakku, but the accent of Naboo. “All the galaxy would fall at your feet. The Prince of Alderaan. The grandson of a beloved queen of Naboo. The last Skywalker. You only had to give in to the darkness. As your precious scavenger has.”

Ben’s heart beat so hard he was dizzy, so hard he could feel his pulse behind his eyeballs. Sparks flashed at the edges of his vision.

“Fight it, Rey.” He moved toward her slowly, as if approaching a wild animal. Through the bond, he felt nothing but heaving darkness like an oily sea. “Fight him.”

“Too late for that.” Rey’s lips softened in something more like her usual smile. She extended her hand. “But not too late to join me. You’ve wanted to for some time, haven’t you, Ben?” She made his name a caress. “You resisted the darkness all these years. But _this_ …” Her other hand followed the contours of her body from breast to thigh. “This, you have no desire to resist.”

Ben had spent all his conscious life learning to hide his thoughts, to deflect, to evade. He shut his mind to disgust and focused on the woman in front of him, let his body lead where his mind refused to go. He took a step forward, then another, his eyes on her outstretched hand. _Rey’s_ hand, the same hand he’d taken so many times over so many years. He wouldn’t look into her face. If he did, he’d see the monster peering through the windows of her eyes.

He came closer, step after step, his gaze never rising from her hand. His own rose, closed around hers, engulfing it. She pulled, drew him to her. He let her. When her free hand came up to slide under his hair, around the nape of his neck, he closed his eyes tight and let her pull him down.

His lips met hers. She tasted of smoke, the sharp tang of ozone and the bitterness of fear and pain. Her fingers untangled from his, reached up to grip the back of his head and hold him. She opened her mouth and devoured him.

Lust unfurled though the bond. Opening himself to the Force, Ben called every bit of power he had and blasted back through it.

With an outraged scream, Rey jerked back. The monster showed in her face. He could see it within her, a coil of darkness choking her brightness to an ember. Gripping her head in both hands, he reached into her mind, tore at the invader, stripped shreds away like rotting flesh.

She screamed again, raised her hands and shot bolts of pure pain into him. She gasped and wrenched back.

Ben’s lips lifted in a cold smile. “We’re one in the Force. Destroy me and you destroy half her power.”

“Not if I take yours first,” Palpatine hissed in Rey’s voice. Deadly lightning crackled over him again.

Palpatine had made a mistake, torturing Ben while he’d had him. Ben had to learn to bear it. Jaw clenched, he bore it now, using the pain to fuel the power of the dark side. The dark side hungered to consume, to dominate, to destroy. He let the dark power in him free to have its will.

The monster pummeled his body with Force lightning even as it sucked power through the bond. In return, Ben tore at its vile essence. He knew what it was like to have a demon in your head. He wouldn’t consign Rey to the same fate.

Palpatine’s essence was tattering. Shaking with strain, pain spasming his muscles, Ben hung on. His muscles gave out. He fell. He didn’t release his hold on Rey, bringing her down with him.

Her yellow eyes blazed into his. “Give up, young Solo. There’s no need for you to die. You can have everything you always wanted.”

“What I always wanted,” he said through clenched teeth, “was to be _free_.”

He sent more power through the bond. Ben could feel Rey struggling now, trying to break Palpatine’s grip. With sudden, sickening despair, Ben realized it wouldn’t be enough. Even both of them together weren’t enough to overcome a creature that had been so powerful and so evil for so long. There would still be threads of darkness left that could knit themselves back together again.

 _No need for you to die_. The words turned, crystalized in his mind. The monster himself had given him the key.

Gathering the last of his power, Ben hurled it at the darkness inside Rey.

His vision darkened. The world began to fall away.

Suddenly, his exhausted strength surged; energy, power, the Force poured into him. With a gasp, he returned to the world.

A line of glowing blue figures stood over him and Rey. His mother, smiling proudly at him. His uncle. A tall man with hair as long and wavy as his own, but light instead of dark.

“Grandfather?” Ben whispered, his voice shaking.

Anakin smiled and winked. More figures shimmered into existence behind them. Two bearded men—Obi Wan and Qui Gon. The hunched, tiny, big-eared form of Jedi Master Yoda. More Jedi appeared, rank after rank of them until they outnumbered the hooded Sith acolytes around the vault.

Rey’s yellow eyes went wide. “No!” she breathed.

With the power of the Force itself in him, Ben reached into her, ripped out the parasite that was Palpatine and crushed it to nothing.

As he slumped to the floor, he saw a blast of blinding blue light rip through the Sith, burning them to scraps of smoking ash.

Ben lay sprawled. He cracked his eyelids open. Ash drifted down like snowflakes. The air was thick with the choking smell of ozone. The cold of the stone floor seeped into him. He began to shiver. Every part of his body hurt, inside and out. That must mean he was still alive. 

Someone was crying weakly but wrenchingly, sobs torn up from the depths of a soul. _Rey_.

Ben heaved himself up. Rey lay sprawled by him, shivering as he was as she sobbed. Tearing grief and shriveling horror came over the bond.

He crawled to her, gathered her into his lap, held her tight. “I’m sorry, Rey. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” He rocked her. Tears tracked down his own cheeks. “It was the only way I knew to protect you. I had to be here first, before you found him.”

She shuddered in his arms. Her voice came, weak and too broken to understand.

He pressed her head to his shoulder. “Shh, shh. It’s over. He’s gone. He won’t be coming back this time.”

She raised her head. Her eyes—brown and green and swimming with tears—blazed into his.

“I killed them!” She squeezed her eyes shut. “My own parents—I killed them!”

Ben suddenly understood how Palpatine had been able to possess her when he hadn’t been able to possess him or Luke—the horror of what she’d done had quenched her light.

Guilt rolled over him. He’d known something kept her from using the Force. He never guessed it was anything so terrible.

He smoothed her straggling hair back, cupped her face and gave her a little shake, forcing her to look at him. “You were a _child_. You didn’t know.”

“They were flying away.” Her voice sounded like a child’s. “I just wanted them to come back.” Her face crumpled on the last word.

“I know, I know,” he soothed.

“I _k-k-k-killed_ them!”

He pulled her head back to his shoulder and just rocked her helplessly.

The Force quivered again. Another glowing blue figure flickered into existence behind Rey—a man about Ben’s age with torn trousers, battered boots and a worn jacket. His eyes and lips echoed Rey’s. Ben couldn’t tell what color his hair was, only that it was dark, like hers.

The man crouched down by Rey’s shoulder. “Ahh, Sparkle. Don’t do this to yourself.”

She jerked upright. Her head snapped around and her eyes went wide with shock.

“D-d-dad?” she stammered.

He smiled, a smile so full of love it hurt Ben’s heart.

“I never wanted to leave you,” Rey’s father said. “I should’ve figured out another way. It’s my fault, not yours, Sparkle. You were so little. All you knew was your dad was leaving you all alone.”

Her face was already wet with tears. More streamed down. Sobs shook her again.

“I was going to take you to the Sacred Village to learn about the things you can do,” the man went on. “I should’ve done it, and kriff Unkar Plutt. Do you see, Sparkle? You can’t blame yourself for something when you didn’t know any better. _I_ knew better. I saw what you could do. It was my job to take care of you. I failed.”

She reached out to him. “No, Dad. No—”

His hand curled around hers, her living flesh visible through blue Force energy. “Yes. If you let this destroy you, I _have_ failed. That isn’t what I want for you. I want you to be my bright Sparkle for ever and ever. You have to forgive a terrified little girl who only did what any kid would do when her parents left her behind.”

“But I—”

“Yes. You could do what other kids can’t. Be glad. If you couldn’t, you’d both be dead.”

She whipped around to stare at Ben.

“He’s right,” Ben said. “I need you. I’ve always needed you.”

“You’re a dyad. One in the Force,” another voice said, one Ben had only heard in holos. “Light and dark bonded together.”

Ben looked around to see his grandfather. Anakin Skywalker, in his Jedi robes.

Rey’s father looked up at him and smiled, a bright, wide smile like Rey’s. “Thank you. Thank you for letting me speak to her. I always wanted to…but I never could.”

Ben didn’t understand for a moment. Then he did—the man’s presence in the Force wasn’t strong enough to manifest as a Force ghost. He’d been Force-sensitive…but nothing like the rest of them. Anakin had to help him return.

He bent his head. A shadow of regret crossed his face. “I know how guilt can destroy you. It’s the least I could do.”

Anakin turned to Ben. “After thousands of years, you and Rey have finally brought balance. Dark and light joined again in the Force. Each counterbalances the other’s weaknesses. Each enhances the other’s strengths. Each accepts the other for what—and who—they are.”

Rey’s father stood and stepped back. Anakin took his place, crouched down by Ben and Rey.

“The Jedi and Sith had it wrong all along,” he explained. “It isn’t detachment or pure power that bring true strength. It’s love.” He smiled, his eyes sparkling. “Love is the Force that binds all life together. Love is what lets you do more than you ever believed possible.”

Rey turned to Ben. Her eyes shone with hope and amazement. He lifted a hand to her cheek, cradling it tenderly.

Chuckling, Anakin stood again. “You’ve got a fleet armed with a thousand Death Star cannons out there. My daughter will knock me into my next life if I don’t remind you to do something about it.”

“Yes, Grandfather,” Ben said shakily.

Rey’s father gave her another of those soft, dazzling smiles. “I love you across the galaxy and back, Sparkle. Always.”

Her lips curved in a tremulous smile. “I love you across the galaxy back a hundred million times, Dad.”

Anakin nodded once at Ben. “May the Force be with you.”

The two Force ghosts blurred into glowing blue light, then faded.

Ben turned back to Rey. It was too soon to ask, but he couldn’t stand not knowing. “Can you ever forgive me? For bringing you to him. For…” He faltered. “…for what he did to you.”

Rey’s eyes searched his face, nothing in them but the beautiful, familiar shades of brown and green. She raised a shaking hand to his face and her smile blossomed, brilliant and joyful. Ben grinned back. He couldn’t remember how long it had been since he wanted to. _Years_.

Her lips were on his then, no longer hungry and seductive but just _loving_. Relief and joy poured through the bond, sparkling with her light. He threaded his hands into her hair and pulled her tight, kissed her back with everything he’d held back and denied for so long.

Ben pulled back enough to murmur, “I love you, Rey. I always have. I always will.”

A grin slowly spread over her face, glinting with mischief. “I know.”

She knew how much he hated that. The love shining through the bond told a different tale.

Growling with irritation like he knew he was supposed to, he kissed her deeply and thoroughly, gratified when she molded herself against him with soft eager noises.

He broke away and set her back. “Ah-ah. Not now. We’ve got a galaxy to save, remember?”

She swatted him. “That was a cheap trick.”

Ben grinned again. “I learned from the best.”

Fingers laced together, they stood and crossed the Sith temple’s ash-strewn floor.

The tap of their steps faded, leaving behind nothing but empty, echoing darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're curious about the the version of Ben and Rey's history in this fic, you can find it in [Magnetized.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20468138/chapters/48566957)


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